Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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