I puked a lego.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
