I love black thongs
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
