two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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