it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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