May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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