I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
