He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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