sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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