It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
