He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
