The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
