I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
