Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
