Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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