and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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