8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dear god my vagina.
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