I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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