I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
