I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
