I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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