i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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