So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
