Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
