Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(+33): View more from France

I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+33): I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing. http://tfl.nu/69za

Replies (13) Good night (686) Bad night (1959) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again? http://tfl.nu/5xp9

Replies (19) Good night (3112) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks? http://tfl.nu/42dk

Replies (10) Good night (725) Bad night (3917) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg

Replies (289) Good night (62331) Bad night (4292)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm

Replies (20) Good night (3941) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh? http://tfl.nu/suo6

Replies (34) Good night (971) Bad night (4804)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like. http://tfl.nu/6yf0

Replies (5) Good night (1514) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud

Replies (4) Good night (3086) Bad night (1226) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(805): View more from California

You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina? http://tfl.nu/lipw

Replies (8) Good night (2661) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people http://tfl.nu/4rzl

Replies (8) Good night (1733) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze

Replies (12) Good night (2146) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants." http://tfl.nu/f9vw

Replies (6) Good night (381) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(626): View more from California

My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(626): My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza. http://tfl.nu/x0uu

Replies (7) Good night (701) Bad night (348) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

(1-770): View more from Georgia

You're a good friend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that. (1-770): You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/ln0z

Replies (2) Good night (1085) Bad night (229)
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking. http://tfl.nu/78bt

Replies (6) Good night (372) Bad night (1669) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: