I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.