My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.