Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  my soul wont recognize me after tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): my soul wont recognize me after tonight http://tfl.nu/7s35
  Replies (3) Good night (1800) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!? http://tfl.nu/lfzq
  Replies (9) Good night (4017) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent (613): I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM http://tfl.nu/2tls
  Replies (24) Good night (939) Bad night (5299)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1404) Bad night (2732)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed. http://tfl.nu/tv17
  Replies (9) Good night (5060) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does. http://tfl.nu/p0z8
  Replies (14) Good night (1774) Bad night (3431)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4201) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here. http://tfl.nu/lskr
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's. http://tfl.nu/a874
  Replies (6) Good night (2832) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ? http://tfl.nu/856o
  Replies (12) Good night (1704) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  There are cops on horseback in our back yard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): There are cops on horseback in our back yard http://tfl.nu/25e3
  Replies (7) Good night (1421) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?" http://tfl.nu/fe0d
  Replies (10) Good night (1898) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter. http://tfl.nu/hgbg
  Replies (13) Good night (633) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want http://tfl.nu/5io1
  Replies (10) Good night (404) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk. http://tfl.nu/ul5p
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (353)

Randomize