Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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  (510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok
  Replies (5) Good night (2318) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  How do you jack off and text at the same time?

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  On my iPhone they have an app for that

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  (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7
  Replies (84) Good night (31766) Bad night (2062)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom

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  (574): Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom http://tfl.nu/tatf
  Replies (32) Good night (763) Bad night (3640)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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  (609): i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you. http://tfl.nu/fon6
  Replies (9) Good night (926) Bad night (3986)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.

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  (443): we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it. http://tfl.nu/i4yi
  Replies (13) Good night (4082) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.

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  (715): I will also be strapping forties to the puppies. http://tfl.nu/upgh
  Replies (14) Good night (2303) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

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  (505): All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice. http://tfl.nu/9vs4
  Replies (9) Good night (2864) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

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  (561): She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal. http://tfl.nu/us8h
  Replies (3) Good night (1841) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.

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  (501): There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at. http://tfl.nu/jo9n
  Replies (5) Good night (2198) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl

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  (225): We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl http://tfl.nu/f3ra
  Replies (5) Good night (971) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

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  (910): She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now http://tfl.nu/y52f
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.

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  (623): Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing. http://tfl.nu/8dgm
  Replies (8) Good night (2005) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.

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  (320): You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick. http://tfl.nu/jc99
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

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  (412): I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level http://tfl.nu/bgaz
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.

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  (404): Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate. http://tfl.nu/nuzb
  Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (450)

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