Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

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  (949): dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt http://tfl.nu/6eac
  Replies (42) Good night (915) Bad night (6596)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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  (804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (3641)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.

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  (440): Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade. http://tfl.nu/kiie
  Replies (20) Good night (5664) Bad night (1509)
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  (408): View more from California

  Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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  (408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs
  Replies (11) Good night (5186) Bad night (827)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.

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  (919): I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three. http://tfl.nu/4nlq
  Replies (8) Good night (1044) Bad night (2984)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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  (907): I've ID'd the nipple biter. http://tfl.nu/u45n
  Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck

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  (217): I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck http://tfl.nu/cg9j
  Replies (12) Good night (3475) Bad night (920)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

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  (914): I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken http://tfl.nu/q5lf
  Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (989)
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  (805): View more from California

  The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.

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  (805): The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out. http://tfl.nu/nl9o
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks

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  (612): Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks http://tfl.nu/dno6
  Replies (7) Good night (734) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka

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  (407): i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka http://tfl.nu/95pf
  Replies (4) Good night (364) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do

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  (608): Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do http://tfl.nu/pe9f
  Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (250)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.

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  (720): I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me. http://tfl.nu/ka0d
  Replies (8) Good night (583) Bad night (350)
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  (760): View more from California

  I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.

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  (760): I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube. http://tfl.nu/kpp6
  Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores

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  (805): Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores http://tfl.nu/ya7w
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (152)

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