I just pynch a tree in the face
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
