Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

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  (602): OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now http://tfl.nu/twmw
  Replies (6) Good night (991) Bad night (826)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

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  (610): There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet http://tfl.nu/0mzt
  Replies (24) Good night (1859) Bad night (2194)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory

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  (516): I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory http://tfl.nu/t9t2
  Replies (21) Good night (11194) Bad night (927)
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  (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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  (925): his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch. http://tfl.nu/0vl7
  Replies (74) Good night (3428) Bad night (8025)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.

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  (217): I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list. http://tfl.nu/jt04
  Replies (6) Good night (3976) Bad night (973)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11783) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Jesus...So southern.

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  (774): Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat. (401): Jesus...So southern. http://tfl.nu/htgy
  Replies (11) Good night (1564) Bad night (2901)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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  (978): Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts http://tfl.nu/t2mu
  Replies (6) Good night (3141) Bad night (1265)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.

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  (817): Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night. http://tfl.nu/bkam
  Replies (7) Good night (2178) Bad night (1051)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills

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  (775): Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills http://tfl.nu/fe2s
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (1315)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

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  (541): I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men http://tfl.nu/fivt
  Replies (14) Good night (1063) Bad night (1963)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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  (613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (353)
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  (951): View more from California

  you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house

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  (951): you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house http://tfl.nu/vf8x
  Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (288)
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  (707): View more from California

  Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?

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  (707): Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain? http://tfl.nu/008f
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (240)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.

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  (443): Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again. http://tfl.nu/t0yv
  Replies (4) Good night (299) Bad night (579)

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