the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
