We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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