dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
