I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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