I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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