ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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