So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
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Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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