So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize