plz talk dirty to me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
