Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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