once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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