dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Green mimosas i think yes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.