Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Have you finally orgasmed yet?

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(630): Have you finally orgasmed yet? http://tfl.nu/pxlw

Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (1463)
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(805): View more from California

In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career

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(805): In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career http://tfl.nu/rhke

Replies (18) Good night (4723) Bad night (684)
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(562): View more from California

CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!

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(562): CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?! http://tfl.nu/fpdj

Replies (21) Good night (1052) Bad night (2645)
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(916): View more from California

She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.

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(916): She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/9b1u

Replies (17) Good night (1463) Bad night (5896)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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(201): Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs. http://tfl.nu/3fsr

Replies (19) Good night (5417) Bad night (1213)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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(570): 12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began http://tfl.nu/mu8u

Replies (21) Good night (5402) Bad night (1199)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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(570): Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage. http://tfl.nu/7s6f

Replies (12) Good night (4494) Bad night (1098)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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(512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom

Replies (7) Good night (3059) Bad night (943)
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(512): View more from Texas

I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.

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(512): I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America. http://tfl.nu/x9dk

Replies (7) Good night (2278) Bad night (1056)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.

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(630): Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms. http://tfl.nu/uuzs

Replies (13) Good night (901) Bad night (2412)
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(775): View more from Nevada

They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.

(1-775): View more from Nevada

I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.

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(775): They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy. (1-775): I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/3byv

Replies (6) Good night (2345) Bad night (679)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.

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(651): His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve. http://tfl.nu/5nws

Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (543)
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(518): View more from New York

Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?

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(518): Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings? http://tfl.nu/b1ds

Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (627)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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(306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg

Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (385)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.

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(309): Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements. http://tfl.nu/4ok2

Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (378)

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