Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.

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  (617): a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo. http://tfl.nu/rlno
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (812)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  wait, did i just see you litter out your window??

  (281): View more from Texas

  umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.

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  (713): wait, did i just see you litter out your window?? (281): umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out. http://tfl.nu/y9ae
  Replies (35) Good night (4186) Bad night (1105)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes

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  (219): The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes http://tfl.nu/ulxb
  Replies (14) Good night (940) Bad night (4504)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head

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  (630): i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head http://tfl.nu/n75x
  Replies (85) Good night (8004) Bad night (987)
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  (949): View more from California

  Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up

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  (949): Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up http://tfl.nu/ti5i
  Replies (20) Good night (2397) Bad night (4653)
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  (530): View more from California

  I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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  (530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061
  Replies (4) Good night (3553) Bad night (850)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.

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  (613): Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here. http://tfl.nu/o8um
  Replies (8) Good night (4093) Bad night (838)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.

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  (610): At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there. http://tfl.nu/2tn8
  Replies (1) Good night (1735) Bad night (842)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.

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  (614): Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome. http://tfl.nu/lohz
  Replies (5) Good night (1503) Bad night (405)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes

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  (931): Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes http://tfl.nu/7hsu
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (411)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry

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  (610): Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry http://tfl.nu/g7mi
  Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (457)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?

  (1-830): View more from Texas

  Jeans and a nice top.

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  (830): So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law? (1-830): Jeans and a nice top. http://tfl.nu/z19e
  Replies (4) Good night (891) Bad night (530)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.

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  (401): Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media. http://tfl.nu/q9vk
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (330)
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  (310): View more from California

  I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.

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  (310): I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong. http://tfl.nu/15uo
  Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (714)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.

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  (330): If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on. http://tfl.nu/53ym
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (215)

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