Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?

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  (608): can we please move this conversation out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/qzib
  Replies (9) Good night (885) Bad night (2602)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him

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  (845): I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him http://tfl.nu/y1pg
  Replies (7) Good night (1130) Bad night (2902)
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  (310): View more from California

  I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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  (310): I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it http://tfl.nu/jugc
  Replies (8) Good night (1278) Bad night (3709)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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  (206): I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/2cd4
  Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (755)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?

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  (352): Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend? http://tfl.nu/xbp0
  Replies (6) Good night (2067) Bad night (580)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;

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  (719): I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now; http://tfl.nu/0kbl
  Replies (7) Good night (527) Bad night (1452)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.

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  (207): He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug. http://tfl.nu/cbeo
  Replies (7) Good night (1111) Bad night (1168)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.

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  (517): Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now. http://tfl.nu/rvro
  Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (910)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.

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  (443): Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things (1-443): Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit. http://tfl.nu/9byp
  Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (807)
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  (310): View more from California

  Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.

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  (310): Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/m30n
  Replies (3) Good night (1188) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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  (319): No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy! http://tfl.nu/f6zv
  Replies (10) Good night (562) Bad night (460)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...

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  (716): Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them... http://tfl.nu/sjm1
  Replies (7) Good night (446) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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  (850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted
  Replies (1) Good night (1034) Bad night (437)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig

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  (270): There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig http://tfl.nu/4pd5
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (280)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.

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  (813): Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now. http://tfl.nu/4fdt
  Replies (13) Good night (707) Bad night (440)

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