i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone