Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my shit smells like andre
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
