Sponge bath it is.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
