It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
