You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
