I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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