I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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