Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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