i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Come see our sink grown plant.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
