you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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