Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I love black thongs
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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