We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
