I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
