Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
