I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
