JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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