Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
birth control should be required to get into college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize