"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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