The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
