Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
