I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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