You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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