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my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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