OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
