What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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