I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
