wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
you never un-have a 4some
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
